I'm Just Sayin'

After writing to my wonderful Senator Levin, I started seeing a glimmer of hope on the loan mod front.
He sent a letter to the U.S. Department of Treasury on my behalf. Then, a nice person in his office contacted me to see how things were going.

“Not great,” I told her. “I keep getting the runaround at CitiMortgage.”

“You can report them to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau,” she told me.

Huh? There’s a government bureau designed to protect consumers and their finances? This was news to me.

“Go online to their website, http://www.consumerfinance.gov , and submit a complaint. They will contact your lender and your lender must respond within 30 days.”

Wow. An actual agency that would hold CitiMortgage’s feet to the fire.

“I’m waiting for a call back from CitiMortgage, but if that doesn’t result in anything, I’ll do that, thanks!”

My old person at CitiMortgage, Ramon, told me my case was closed and I could resubmit my paperwork in 60 days to a new person at Citi and try again for a loan modification.

My newer person at CitiMortgage told me I had 30 days to correct my old application if the income on that form was incorrect, which it was. But that new person disappeared in the wind. I had neglected to get her name and phone number. Finding people at CitiMortgage is like trying to be the 137^th caller to a radio station to win tickets to the Rolling Stones.  You can’t get no satisfaction.

My newest person at CitiMortgage was in the Homeowner Preservation Department. I liked the sound of that department, although I now know it’s just window dressing. Its true name should be the “Appease the Peasants” department.
Rachel was my new person. She was extremely nice. I could tell by her voice that she was very young and idealistic. She actually believed she was going to help me get a loan mod. Someone as nice as she is won't last long in the banking industry.

When Rachel called to apologize for the delays and miscommunications, I asked to speak to her supervisor. The supervisor told me I wasn’t in imminent default and my case was being closed – again. I told her calmly that I was online, at the website of the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau, and I was one click away from submitting a complaint.

“I just don’t think we can do anything more, your income is insufficient for a standard loan mod, and more than sufficient to meet the imminent default criteria…”

Click.

I submitted my complaint. Laissez les bons temps rouler, as they say in the Foreclosure Department.

Ten days later I got a call from Aisha.

“This is Aisha, I’ll be your new agent at CitiMortgage. I’m with the Executive Response Unit,” she announced importantly.

“I called and was told I’d be working with Catherine now, after working with Rachel, and Ms. No Name and Ramon before that,” I said.

“Ms. Doe, you are delaying your progress on a loan modification by calling CitiMortgage and talking to the wrong people,” Aisha told me. “Stop calling CitiMortgage. You are just hurting yourself and your case with all these phone calls. I’m the person to talk to.”

“Listen here, Little Missy,” I snapped. I could tell she was young, but would probably eat her own young if she had any. “I keep calling CitiMortgage because you keep jerking me around. How do I know you’re the RIGHT person to talk to?”

“I am with the Executive Response Unit, the highest level you can reach if you’re trying to get a loan modification.”

Aha. My complaint to the CFPB paid off.

“Now, did you get my email? You have three days to respond to it or we’ll close your case.”

“No, I didn’t get your email,” I told her.

“Well, it might have gone into your spam. Don’t you check your spam?”

“No, I don’t check my spam. That’s why it’s called spam. It is stuff I don’t want to read.”

“At any rate, I sent you an email requesting a new profit and loss statement, new income and expenses report, year to date. I also need all your new bank statements for the past two months and pay stubs for the last two months. If you get these to me in three days, your case will be reviewed immediately and you’ll have a response in seven business days.”

I did as I was asked. I dropped my other work (meaning I wasn’t getting paid, since I only get paid when I work as a freelancer) and complied with her request.

Three weeks later (not seven business days later) I got a response. I had been turned down again because I didn’t meet the imminent default criteria.

“I want to talk to your supervisor,” I told Aisha. She put me on the phone with her supervisor, Priscilla.

It went like this:

ME: Why haven’t I met the imminent default criteria? I owe you for two month's payments.

PRISCILLA: You didn’t pay in April, then you paid in May, and you didn’t pay in June, so you are only 30 consecutive days in arrears.

Rats. I remembered that I cancelled one auto payment, and neglected to cancel ALL my auto payments, so a payment did go out. Needless to say, I didn’t have enough money in my account to cover the mortgage payment, so I got hit with a $37 insufficient fund fee. And then I had to sell some more stuff on ebay to cover the shortage. I’ll miss that antique toaster and sterling silver gravy boat.

ME: So it has to be consecutive days? Sixty-one consecutive days that I haven’t paid my mortgage, and then I’ll meet the imminent default criteria? Then I’ll qualify for a loan modification?”

PRISCILLA: Maybe, maybe not. What makes you think you’ll get a loan mod if you meet the imminent default criteria?

ME: Because you keep sending me rejection letters saying I didn’t qualify based on the imminent default criteria.

PRISCILLA: There could be other reasons you don’t qualify.

ME: Aren’t you obligated to tell me those reasons then?

PRISCILLA: We don't know the reasons, it's up to the underwriter.

ME: Then can I please speak to the underwriter?

PRISCILLA: No. So what’s your plan, if you don’t get the loan mod are you going to pay up on your past due balance?

ME: No. I don’t have the money.

PRISCILLA: Then you’d better have a back-up plan. Are you going to sell the house?

ME: No. It’s all I have. Every penny I have is in this house, and I’m not going to sell it at a loss in this economy.

PRISCILLA: Then you’d better come up with a back-up plan, and fast. You don’t want to go into foreclosure. That will look bad for you.

ME: Let me see if I get this straight. You want me to sell my house at a loss right now so I don’t go into foreclosure. I will have to hire a realtor, pay a real estate agent commission, keep my house in perfect shape for showings, and then sell it at a loss and walk away with nothing. Or I can let it go into foreclosure and YOU can sell it and I don’t have to deal with all of that. The end result is the same.

PRISCILLA: I’m warning you, Ms. Doe, this will not go well for you if you don’t have a back-up plan.

ME: Sounds like you already know how this is going to turn out, even if I meet the default criteria.

PRISCILLA: I’m just saying.

ME: And I’m just saying I’ll take my chances.

Priscilla was right. I was wrong. They had it in for me, but I had no idea what was coming next.